25 Funny Quotes to Celebrate Smile Week
Pretty soon it’s gonna be National Smile Week, and what better way to get those grins cracking than with some humorous and funny quotes? Get ready for your checks to hurt the whole week through. Here are twenty-five funny quotes to get you started.
1. “If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.” ~ Dave Allen
2. “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.” ~ Albert Einstein
3. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” ~ Mae West
4. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” ~ Fred Allen
5. “The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.” ~ Dave Barry
6. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” ~ Josh Billings
7. “Things ain’t what they used to be and probably never was.” ~Will Rogers
8. “Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.” ~ Gary Busey
9. “I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.” ~ Walt Disney
10. “Hippies, hippies… they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!” ~ Eric Cartman
11. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” ~ Flip Wilson
12. “If you would like to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
13. “I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.” ~ Joan Rivers
14. “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” ~ Emo Philips
15. “There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.” ~ Josh Groban
16. “I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades…or a game of fake heart attack.” ~ Demetri Martin
17. “Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.” ~ Ruth Gordon
18. “It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.” ~ Ben Bergor
19. “Have no fear of perfection–you’ll never reach it.” ~ Salvador Dali
20. “It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.” ~ Oscar Wilde
21. “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.” ~ Ethel Barrymore
22. “I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments.” ~ Jim Morrison
23. “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” ~ Winston Churchill
24. “Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.” ~ Jason Hutchison
25. “Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.” ~ Benny Hill
Are you smiling yet? Great! Now you’re ready for National Smile Week. Know someone else who needs to exercise their face muscles before the big week actually hits? Why not take these twenty-five funny quotes and share them?
25 Funny Quotes to Celebrate Smile Week
Friendship is precious!
♣ not only in the shade,
♣ but in the sunshine of life;
♣ and thanks to a benevolent
♣ arrangement of things,
♣ the greater part of life is sunshine.
♣ Of all the blossoms in life’s garden,
♣ friendship is the most fragrant
♣ A friend is a gift where
♣ worth cannot be measured
♣ except by the heart
♣ Be full of sympathy toward each other,
♣ loving one another with tender hearts
♣ and humble minds
♣ Friendship is sharing openly,
♣ laughing often,
♣ trusting always,
♣ caring deeply
♣ We can pour our heart out to a friend
♣ knowing that gentle hands will take and sift it,
♣ keep what is worth keeping,
♣ and with a breath of kindness,
♣ blow the rest away
♣ Thank YOU for being my friend
Second wife’s children, not herself, entitled to property: apex court
New Delhi: Children born of second marriage are entitled to a share in the property of their father though the second marriage itself is void, the Supreme Court has held.
If a person marries a second time during the subsistence of his first marriage, children born of the second marriage will still be legitimate, said a Bench consisting of Justices S.B. Sinha and V.S. Sirpurkar.
Writing the judgment, Mr. Justice Sirpurkar said the law was clear that the second wife who was cited as the nominee by her husband to claim the benefits arising out of his employment could claim succession certificate in favour of her children. However, she would not be legally entitled to receive a share from her husband’s property.
Claim by two wives
In the instant case, Sukhrana Bai deserted Sheetaldeen soon after their marriage. Thereafter Sheetaldeen married Vidyadhari and four children were born to them. After his death, Vidyadhari, who was his nominee, received pension and other benefits due to Sheetaldeen.
However, both Sukhrana Bai and Vidyadhari filed applications claiming the succession certificate for his movable property. The trial court decreed in favour of the second wife. But on appeal, the Madhya Pradesh High Court reversed the finding and granted the certificate in favour of the first wife.
Allowing Vidyadhari’s appeal against this judgment, the apex court said she continued to live with Sheetaldeen as his wife for a long time. She enjoyed the confidence of Sheetaldeen, who nominated her for his Provident Fund, life cover scheme, pension, life insurance and other dues. Under such circumstances, she was preferable to the legally wedded wife, Sukharna Bai, who never stayed with Sheetaldeen as his wife but went to the extent of claiming the succession certificate to the exclusion of Sheetaldeen’s legal heirs.
In granting the certificate, the court had to use its discretion where rival claims, as in this case, were made for the property of the deceased, the Bench pointed out.
The High Court ought to have taken these crucial circumstances into consideration.
“Though we agree with the High Court that Mrs. Bai was the only legitimate wife yet, we would choose to grant the certificate in favour of Mrs. Vidyadhari, who was his nominee and mother of his four children.”
Besides the four children of Vidyadhari, Sukharna Bai would receive a one-fifth share of the property. Vidyadhari was not entitled to any share for herself and that she would have to protect Sukharna Bai’s share and hand it over to her, the Bench said.